Marital dating

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When Thea and her husband moved to Los Angeles a few years ago, she had no friends close by and was alone frequently while her husband worked long hours.

Though Thea says her husband was the "best friend someone could have," the spark and sex were gone.

She says she was living with a lot of disillusionment in a disappointing, sexless marriage.

"Women tell me, 'I was lonely, not connected, I didn't feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,'" marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly says.The theory, Fisher says, is that from the earliest days, women paired with a primary mate to have children.But as women went out to gather food, they slept with other men, creating an insurance policy to have someone who would help rear children and provide resources should their mate die."People have affairs because they are looking for something," Reilly says.Although she sees a number of couples grappling with infidelity, "more people come to me [before it happens] because they want to save their marriage." Women are also less likely than men to have an affair that "just happens," because they tend to think longer and harder about the situation, experts say.

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